I'm sinking like a stone in the sea

12:42 pm - I just think it's best

cause you can't miss what you forget. So let's just pretend that everything and anything between you and me was never meant

06:41 pm

I'm on my way to hell.

03:12 am

I've never actually thought about killing myself until now. Good thing we never got that gun.

03:38 pm

I'm a mess

I hate things right now

You don't even care

I really don't like you (not you, the other one)

You being around the other one makes me uneasy because of how that one is.

I want to die a little bit right now

05:41 pm

Things suck right now

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

04:45 pm

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work

I used to pray like God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.






"They never hit their brakes..."
"There was no time to see..."
"He just ran out in the street..."
"Does anybody know his name?"
"I think I recognize him..."
"He sure as hell paid for that mistake..."

08:03 pm

i'm a mountain that has been moved
i'm a river that is all dried up
i'm an ocean that nothing floats on
i'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in
i'm a sun that doesn't burn hot
i'm a moon that never shows it's face
i'm a mouth that doesn't smile
i'm a word that no one ever wants to say

i'm a moutain that has been moved
i'm a fugitive that has no legs to run
i'm a preacher with no pulpit
spewing a sermon that goes on and on

07:07 pm

I've screamed at these walls before.

12:38 pm

I have a few good friends. Thank you.

12:32 pm - Woodlawn

It replays everyday and every time I yell the warning, please turn back! Sometimes, I can see you in the shadows; I can hear you in the echoes. I can feel you in the darkness. Sometimes, I can see you in the mirror. I can see you in my own eyes and it scares me to think that somewhere somehow you're not breathing, and I miss you. And I will never be alone when I still see you in my dreams a minute for each mile, please turn back a lifetime for each second of broken glass. Open, open, open up your eyes, and come back.

05:59 pm

I'm tired of being ignored. I'm not going to try anymore. If you want to see me, get in touch with me.

07:33 pm

Stagnant. Submissive. Summarized existence. We are held by ingrained silence and apathetic boredom. We remain still and lifeless bound by tradition and Christian morales. Life consumed by the procedure and efficiency of the American social machine. Talk Shows uncovering the scandals of society, social superiority based on genetics, 10 days to the new thinner you, all new episodes of the 700 Club, media extravaganza, O.J. Simpson, and Chelsea is a riot girl. Late Night with Lettermen, Spring Break in Daytona, Newt Gingrich, Rodney King, Generation X, and the downfall of the nuclear family.

However, life is not meant to be structured into an assembly line with exact same parts making the exact same product. Life was never meant to be a procedure. Life is fluid. Life spins you upside down and turns you every which way and you can't be expected to remain passive and silent through the whole wonderful ride. Maybe hardcore is allowing me to assert control over my life. By letting me to live to the fullest, by letting me make my own noise based on my own decision and my own action. So yes this is the sound of my hopes, and this is the sound my dreams, and this is the sound of my heart. Silence is silent. Make your own noise.

05:38 pm

I hate avocados

05:58 pm

...and now that good feeling is gone

04:49 pm

It's been 6 months since i've had meat. cool

01:23 am

Just walk away
Gather your thoughts for the second wave
Of this argument on this epic changing day
Its crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great
But we stand here, both proud both wrong and right
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight
And our lives are so intertwined in one
And we're just so stuck in this moment it's clear that we're coming undone

And you see it's hard for me to breathe when I get all worked up with these feelings.

And I don't know exactly how it is that we can be so mad we consider to not exist.

We both know there's so much love clenched within our fists


I sit in this house alone with fresh photographs, and I just can't relax.
Cigarette smoke, I'm starting to choke on this.
Half of my soul's on the road in a car with a girl in a dress.




So hey now, maybe we're just being stupid

Hey, maybe we're just being dumb

No, hey, maybe it's time that we stopped and we realize that like the flag in the wind we are one

How at first it's made so cute and lovely

And with battle can be torn to shreds

And with time and with patience and love and affection can be fixed with needle and thread




Because I love you, and you love me.
And nothing will make this leave.


So remember me.



And don't walk away.

06:03 pm

1. I like you, but some of the shit you say is just dumb.

2. I wish we were closer than we are.

3. I wish we could have more time together just between the two of us. I miss that.

4. Don't leave.

5. I wish you were always around when I need a good talk.

6. I hope things don't fuck up this time around. I'm still a little iffy about her.

7. I'm scared of what the outcome would be if there was a drastic change made between us.

8. You're young, try not to fuck up too much.

12:48 am

In these shadowless nights
And hallways alone
With weakness falling through
The cracks from our black swollen eyes
If I could break my own heart,
I would have by now
But it's these long walks alone
That do it quite well for me.

And how we scream in our ears every night,
"Why can't you be the kid who I want you to be?"
Because in this mirror all that reflects
Is a kid with no insides
Just a picture torn out in a book that will never be read or destroyed.

We will never fully know these days, just memories.

Our chests ache with a pain because we have no place to go,
We all sleep on concrete roads in a town I call home.

11:27 pm

I am not your friend.

I am just a man who knows how it feels.

I am not your friend, i'm not your lover, i'm not your family.


Time to get these seeds into the cold ground, it takes a while to grow anything.

10:49 am

Last night was the first time I have cried in over a year. I didn't even cry at my grandmother's funeral. I understand that this is nowhere near the end of cave9, and that it's us who make it what it is, but just the thought that I would never set foot in that building again hit me really hard. I'm glad we ended it the way we did. I'm glad we all got to say our goodbyes. I'm going to miss that space terribly, but we know what we're doing and can make this new space just as good, or better. We'll get through this just fine.